How Weird am I, REALLY?

I was talking to this IM attending I really like and respect a while back, and she mentioned to me that I was abnormally NORMAL for a psychiatrist.

"really," my fellow co-intern said from her computer, " go ask Serena the names of her cats."

"Kittywum and Pittypat," I sort of mumbled from my desk.

"HaHa,", the attending said, " I take that back. You're not normal."

Which brings me (finally) to the point of this post: Am I strange? Weird? PSYCHIATRICALLY WEIRD? Because while surgery has the reputation of being assholes and OB's have the reputation of being bitches, Psych has the reputation of being….ODD.

And while I try my hardest to stay grounded and sane, there's no denying that I have, um, quirks. Is this the reason I chose this joint program? Is the sane part of me battling with the crazy part of me? In 10 years, am I going to be wearing organic cotton skirts and "energy beads" while sitting in my office chair asking patients, "Tell me how you REALLY feel about that. I sense a lot of disquiet and anxiety coming from you."

Any thoughts from the peanut gallery? I'm pretty screwed, aren't I.

I am sad and pathetic.

I went to philly this weekend to visit friends and so forth. Most of my friends are med students/residents and so naturally, like the pathetic, homogenous non-individualized people we are, we talked a lot about medicine.

Now, having known these people for a number of years now, I feel qualified to say that there has been a significant amount of disenchantment and jadedness (is that a word?) that has occurred over the last 9 months since we all graduated from med school. The initial "ohh ohh ohh, I'M A DOCTOR IN A LONG WHITE COAT feeling" has worn off and what is left Is more along the lines of " I don't believe I voluntarily chose this shitass career".

There is very little glamour in the life of a doctor, folks. There is very little excitement (except when you're about to crap your pants because your patient just stopped breathing) and lots of paperwork. There is a parade of patients, nurses, attendings, family, demanding things from you at all hours of the day until you feel like you want pull the plug on the emaciated, ventilated (for two months) patient yourself.

I was walking into work one day and saw one of my diabetic, COPD patients wheeling her IV around and having herself a smoke outside. "Hey doc, " she called out when she saw my coffee, " where's my latte? You make a lot of money. Go buy your patients coffee."

For the record, I have never worked so hard for so little money. I am overeducated, unpaid, and quite bitchy as a result. Welcome to the glamorous life of being a physician.