I'm not lying, this is totally true.

One of my friends (no names mentioned, but really, how many friends do I have doing residencies in the deep south) had this awesome story for me a few weeks ago:

She was seeing this somewhat elderly (but appearing older than stated age) woman who was a street prostitute for years. This woman was complaining of vaginal dishcarge/burning/itching that was just driving her crazy.

My friend did a speculum exam "down there" and noticed rather large warty-like bulbous lesions covering the ENTIRE region.

How long have you had this, my friend asked?

"oh a few months," said the woman. "They're all up in my vagina too and sometimes I pop 'um for some extra lubrication."

...(social commentary on the deep ingrained poverty of the south to follow)